


The Kidswap Project: Parents Edition

by JERRYBERRY96



Series: Universal Randomizer Mayhem [1]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: (maybe), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Homestuck Kidswap, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Universal Randomizer Mayhem, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 13:43:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7465638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JERRYBERRY96/pseuds/JERRYBERRY96
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Did you know the butterfly effect? It's that theory that says that one small change in the past can have drammatic effects in the future. Now Imagine what could happen if the meteors that carry John, Rose, Dave and Jade had landed in the wrong place at the wrong time and, because of this, the wrong guardian will grow them. What will happen? I am the Sentry of Paradox Space and I will tell you a story about how a "little" mistake had almost destroyed the whole Paradox Space. (Part 1: how the Guardians found the children)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kidswap Project: Parents Edition

Your name is mister Egbert. You are visiting a joke shop with your old mother when you see outside a beautiful lady with a pink scarf and a baby in her arms. You’re attracted by her beauty and so you decide to go out and greet her. Before you can say something a meteor strike the shop, blowing it away. You shield yourself from the explosion and, when it finished, you check the crater, hoping that you mother is fine. Unfortunately, she was killed, but not by the meteor: a dead pony, apparently carried by the meteor, hit and kill her. And it seems also that the meteor carried something else. A baby. A male, blond baby. You take him in your arm and look at him and you notice he has red eyes. Then you look around hoping that the other lady is fine but you find only her pink scarf. You decide to take it. Then you head with the baby to home. While you’re driving you think a name for the child. You’re undecided between John or Dave. After some pondering, you decide to call him Dave. “Dave Egbert,” you think “it sounds good.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------  
Your name is miss Lalonde. You are one of the most famous scientists in the world, you have won numerous prizes, made numerous scientific discoveries but you’re currently drinking a Vodka Martini on your sofa inside your extremely expensive home near a lake. Your cat Jasper walks to you and starts to purr for attention, so you starts to cuddle him. “Life can’t be better” you say to yourself. Once you finish your drink you decide to make another one, but before you can open the bottle of vodka you hear an explosion, followed by an earthquake. Once it finish you run outside and discover that the lake near your house have been destroyed by a meteor. You came back inside your home and take all the necessary equipment, then you proceed slowly to the meteor. The first thing you see is a creature similar to a bunny, but with some purple things on its body. Once you get closer you find that the alien bunny is a weird knitted bunny plush and close to it there is a baby girl. You take her carefully and carry her to your lab. After some analysis you find out that the girl is a normal one. Who is now crying. You try to calm her but with no avail. Then you remember of the bunny and decide to pick it up and give it to her. She starts to smile and giggle, making you smile. Suddenly she starts to cry and you realizes that she’s hungry. While you walk to the kitchen you starts to think a name for the baby. You think that Jade sounds good since she has jade-colored eyes.  
\--------------------------------------------------------  
Your name is Strider. Well, actually this is your surname but you prefer being called by your surname rather than name. You are next to the place that once was you favorite shop. Yesterday an old man called you at the phone and asked you to control if a meteor at the 4.13 PM will strike the shop, blowing it away. You originally think he was crazy, but after watching the explosion caused by the meteor you began to believe he wasn’t that crazy. Anyway, you are here because the old man angrily told you that the meteor carry something, something you can’t leave alone for too much otherwise it die. While you walk through the ruins of the shop, wondering what is the thing, you stumble in a crying nerd-looking baby on a book. You wonder if he is the thing that the old man told you while you take him and put on him your small but awesome pointy shades, making him look less nerdy and more cooler. When you reach home you let him play with Lil Cal while you surf the net, searching information about growing a baby, but most of the informations you find are bullshit. Seriously, how a baby can grow into a cool guy if you let him live into a safe environment? You give a look to the baby and find that he’s screaming and stabbing the head of Lil Cal with a knife. You are impressed of it, until that moment the only thing he has done was crying. After he stabbed another 10-15 times Lil Cal and removed its eyes he fall asleep, so you put him on a pile of your plush and start to make a list of things to buy for him: food, clothes, diapers, weapons… Suddenly you realize that the baby hasn’t a name, so you think a name for him. You think for a while, and at the end you chose for John.  
\--------------------------------------------------------  
Your name is Mister Harley. You are a renowned billionaire, explorer and inventor. You have recently planned a trip to an island in the Pacific Ocean that you have recently discovered. All you need now is a shipmate. However, after your little incident in Antarctica, no one wants to come with you. While you try to find an alternative your assistant calls you because an asteroid had hitten one of your Betty Crocker factory. You decide to check personally the damages and, much to your stupor, you find out that the factory has been destroyed. While you walk in the ruins of the factory you hear a cry. You try to localize and follow it until you run into a crater where you find a baby girl with blonde hair who hold in her hair a bunny plush. After some scientists have analyzed her for safety reasons, they find out that she is a normal baby that, according the scientists, was probably abandoned near the factory some moments before the impact of the meteor. You suggests that the meteor could have carried her but the scientists almost laughed at you because they believe this being impossible. Then you ask what you have to do with the baby and the they say that since you find it you could adopt her. “Adopt her?” you say. You think that this is a great idea: for many years you have the idea of getting married and having some babies but your busy schedule have prevented you to do so. But now life has given at you a new chance to satisfy your desire. You take the girl and run to your private plane and once you reach the harbor where your ship is located and set off for the South Pacific with your new shipmate, a shipmate that you have decided to call Rose.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first part of the "Universal Randomizer Mayhem"-verse, where after some weird plot shit one character was forced to became the Sentry (AKA the guardian) of the entire Paradox Space, thus forcing him to defend it from various menances, like Lord English. This story is set after the events of another story I am currently writing, "Swap n' WHAAAT?" and because of this the following parts of the story could be published sooner or later. Anyway, Part 2 will talks about the Beta Kids and their life with their swapped family. See ya soon!


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